A year ago today Shane and I got married. No thanks to the voters of California, but thanks to the Supreme Court of California, we are still Husband and Husband, though their disapproval /approval couldn't make me love him any more. Buying a house together and acknowledging that the US Federal Government doesn't consider us married and therefore we can't finance our home as, and get the tax breaks as, heterosexual married couples do brings home the point that we've still got a long road ahead of us as gay people in being treated as equals. Despite his pre-election posturing Obama's Justice Department defending DOMA isn't helping. But then again I didn't marry Shane for the tax breaks, though they would have been nice.

Of course last month we celebrated our 10th year together, so I'm not sure we are making much of this anniversary today.

It's early yet, but save October 2 to 4th for the annual free concert that's held in Golden Gate Park. I was worried that with the economy like it is, the billionaire that pays for this would cut back a bit. So far the first round of artists named include Aimee Mann, Neko Case, Billy Bragg, The Chieftains, Booker T and the DBT, Lyle Lovett, Marianne Faithfull, Allen Tousaint, John Prine, Little Feat and the usual, Doc Watson, Earl Scruggs, Gillian Welch. There will be more to come, and the weekend is always fun. Last year Odetta performed there just weeks before she died, and she gave an amazing performance.

I'm heading to my 40th High School Reunion next month in Groton, CT. It will be the first one I've gone to. While I really like Connecticut and particularly the southeast coast, I didn't especially enjoy high school and I can only think of three people I'd like to run into. I only know of one who will be there, a woman I worked with after school too that found me on Facebook. I have a feeling I'll walk into it and wonder what all those elderly people are doing there. They will also have a DJ, and I'm guessing he's not going to be playing music I listen to these days.

I had wanted to take Shane, let people meet my husband (since he's so much younger I could have introduced him as my trophy husband), show him Connecticut and New York City, as he's never been, but we've got something going on here and he can't make it. I wanted to go for at least a week, but I think now I'm going to take a red-eye out there on a Wednesday night and come back on Sunday so it will be a quick trip.

Could be interesting.

Date:	2009-06-08 20:18
Subject:	BARAK: Don't ask [for my vote or money], Don't tell [me more lies]
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt always Kill

June 8, 2009: The U.S. Supreme Court has turned down a challenge to the Defense Department policy forbidding gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military, granting a request by the Obama administration. The court said Monday that it will not hear an appeal from former Army Capt. James Pietrangelo II, who was dismissed under the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

The federal appeals court in Boston earlier threw out a lawsuit filed by Pietrangelo and 11 other veterans. He was the only member of that group who asked the high court to rule that the Clinton-era policy is unconstitutional. In court papers, the Obama administration said the appeals court ruled correctly in this case when it found that "don't ask, don't tell" is "rationally related to the government's legitimate interest in military discipline and cohesion."

Hypocrite. Thy name is Obama:

April, 2008, Candidate Obama interviewed in the Advocate:

If you were elected, what do you plan to do for the LGBT community -- what can you reasonably get done?

"I reasonably can see “don’t ask, don’t tell” eliminated. I think that I can help usher through an Employment Non-Discrimination Act and sign it into law."

Back to “don’t ask, don’t tell” real quick -- you’ve said before you don’t think that’s a heavy lift. Of course, it would be if you had Joint Chiefs who were against repeal. Is that something you’ll look at?

"I would never make this a litmus test for the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Obviously, there are so many issues that a member of the Joint Chiefs has to deal with, and my paramount obligation is to get the best possible people to keep America safe. But I think there’s increasing recognition within the Armed Forces that this is a counterproductive strategy – ya know, we’re spending large sums of money to kick highly qualified gays or lesbians out of our military, some of whom possess specialties like Arab-language capabilities that we desperately need. That doesn’t make us more safe, and what I want are members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who are making decisions based on what strengthens our military and what is going to make us safer, not ideology."

June 1, 2009, Obama Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month Proclamation:

Here at home, I continue to support measures to bring the full spectrum of equal rights to LGBT Americans. These measures include… ending the existing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in a way that strengthens our Armed Forces and our national security….NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.

Not the right time, you say, too much on his plate right now? From the same candidate Obama Advocate interview:

"It’s not my place to tell the LGBT community, "Wait your turn." I’m very mindful of Dr. King’s “Letter From Birmingham Jail,” where he says to the white clergy, "Don’t tell me to wait for my freedom."

Today is Shane and my anniversary. 10 years. It's been good, I'm looking forward to the next 10 years. In another month it will be our first wedding anniversary, bittersweet as we've all found out in the last couple of days. If anyone wants to get us a present, I can't think of a better one than for you to come out to your family and friends. It's one thing to be here and queer in the big city, but maybe it would have helped if all those people back home realized when they voted in November that they know and love someone who's gay. Would have been good for them to have met the enemy and discovered it is us.

Day two and I am still obsessing over Grauzone's Eisbär. It's been an earworm all day, but I don't mind. I realized most of you might not even know it so here's a video that someone put together for it. Most of the videos of this are just a static cartoon of a polar bear. Ignore the video, listen to the music.
Grauzone's Eisbär.

Damn YouTube. I've just discovered Nouvelle Vague and Dresden Dolls both covered a song I really like, Grauzone's Eisbär. I remember buying the single when it first came out and playing it when I dj'd in Wiesbaden. Wish they had left it alone, and don't start me on Jordi Gonzales's or Groove Zone's techno/trance/hard versions.

Heard this on NPR this morning and don't know if it's a joke, but today is the annual Star Wars Day. After all, May the 4th be with you.

So I'm on this thing called Classmates.com, got on it a long time ago and can't get off it but signed up for it to try to find two old friends. Recently, because my 40th high school reunion is this year, I posed a profile/bio, and here's a link to copy of it just in case some of you don't know my story. I did it because I wanted to be out to everyone, since I couldn’t do it in 1969, and I really don't want people to remember me as someone I wasn't. Reading the bio now, I realize that the daddy/boy thing may go over the heads of my straight audience.

Today I get two messages on there from someone I don't know, looking for my brother and sister, twins who graduated two years after me. I’ve copied the messages below:

1st message:
Hi Steve! Looking for Gerald & Kathleen Z for '71 Reunion...any relation(s) ? Thanx in advance. I skimmed through your history....gotta tell 'Ya...I gotta get a beer later and read slower!!!! You need to write a book!!! I was cracking Up! Laughing Out Loud....Ed.

2nd message:
....okay...after I had breakfast (noonish) of Linguica,carmelised garlic/onions on roll w/3rd Budweiser...I re-read your story....was more serious when read in-depth...but your situation(s) still could make great print! Ed out! PS: interesting footnote : I consulted w/mate & son (who may be sitting on sexual fence You once jumped off of) as to whether my 'now' pic looked soft/gayish (fat bald man w/peace sign but w/BUD!) they advised it was OK....and here's yours w/tatoos,hard look & cigar! LOL (Freudian clues may be Bud vs. thick cigar,however!) Enjoy! Thanks for your candid tale.

My response:

LOL...lots of my gay friends are fat older bald men, though Rolling Rock would be the beer of choice for them, so you can stop worrying about how you look in your pics. Freud did say that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, though they do give me a lot of pleasure. As for your son, it's an awkward fence to be sitting on, and the best thing I ever did was jump off it. I wish him luck no matter what he discovers about himself. For what it's worth, it's ok to be straight too, some of my best friends are, it's just not for everybody.

Anyway, Gerry and Kathy are my brother and sister, but sad to say they have both died. Kathy 9 years ago and Gerry a couple of years before. In fact so has our sister Zoe, who graduated a year after you, so I may get a message like this in the next couple of years from someone looking for her. Out of five kids it's just me as the oldest and my youngest brother who are still around. Guess my secret to longevity is being gay and smoking cigars, but not sure my sisters would have looked good with a big cigar.

Didn't think my bio was all that funny, though maybe it was his 3rd Bud for breakfast that made it so. Anyway, sounds like this guy will be supportive of his son, and that's a good thing. He also looks so old in his pic, and he's two years younger than I am, man I feel ancient.

Date:	2009-04-29 16:18
Subject:	I AM FEELING CHEAP TODAY
Security:	Public
Mood:	grumpy

Is it me or have concert ticket prices gotten out of control? Van Morrison is playing two nights at the Greek in Berkeley, performing Astral Weeks. Something I'd love to see. Tickets, with fees run from $60.00 on the lawn (sold out) to $380.00 down front, and $125.00 or $90.00 (also sold out) in between, not counting fees. I'd like to see him, it's a nice venue, and a great album, and if I die with any money left in my wallet or bank account, that would suck, but really....who the hell is paying $760.00 for a pair of tickets - and that's not even scalper tickets? It's not going to be me.

GANKED FROM GIZMODO:
If this video doesn't bring a tear to your eyes and makes you smile for the rest of the day, you are a cold hearted bastard. Watch it from beginning to end—you won't regret it.This cover of Stand By Me was recorded by completely unknown artists in a street virtual studio all around the world.

It all started with a base track—vocals and guitar—recorded on the streets of Santa Monica, California, by a street musician called Roger Ridley. The base track was then taken to New Orleans, Louisiana, where Grandpa Elliott—a blind singer from the French Quarter—added vocals and harmonica while listening to Ridley's base track on headphones. In the same city, Washboard Chaz's added some metal percussion to it.

And from there, it just gets rock 'n' rolling bananas: The producers took the resulting mix all through Europe, Africa, and South America, adding new tracks with multiple instruments and vocals that were assembled in the final version you are seeing in this video. All done with a simple laptop and some microphones.

Date:	2009-04-24 16:50
Subject:	COACHELLA WITHOUT THE MUSIC
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

My April each year lately involves a long weekend at SmokeOut, a business trip with a weekend beforehand spent in the city I’m visiting (so far it’s been Scottsdale, AZ, Chicago, New Orleans, Nashville, Clearwater, FL, Austin and San Antonio) and then a long weekend in Palm Springs for Coachella. This year with Coachella moved a week early, it made me choose between the business trip to St. Louis or Coachella, since the conference starts Monday morning and Coachella ends at Midnight Sunday. So for the first time I skipped the business conference. I really wanted to see St Louis, or more accurately, some of you who live there. I figured wooferstl who I’ve known since before he was on LJ would make sure I got around (and I don’t mean transportation).

SmokeOut I’ve blogged about, so this is about the Coachella weekend, but not the music. I always stay at Chaps Inn, while everyone else I know stays in hotels close by. I stay there because no one else I know does and I like my privacy, and I like the hotel better than the Desert Bear.

This year I stayed with six other friends, five of them fellow LJers, in a house we rented in Palm Springs. I have never done anything like that. I tend to be a loner and a bit socially retarded for lack of a better word. I drove down by myself and, after a speeding ticket on I-5 trying to catch up with them, I joined their caravan into PS. I drove down alone so I could stop and meet someone, and I did have a nice lunch on the way back with a little snuggle cub, but only lunch due to some damn roommate being home and the cute snuggle cub I’ve been talking to for several years on-line not being out to his roomies.

Anyway, back to the house. There was a married couple, a putative couple, a single guy and two of us who left our other halves at home and three bedrooms. After a slightly uncomfortable (at least to me, probably not to anyone else) resolution of who slept where, it was fun. Of course after spending the night elsewhere and coming home the next morning to all six of the guys in the living room laughing helped me confront my privacy issue.

The funniest part of the weekend was a waitress at a Czech restaurant four of us stopped at on the way to the festival. One of us, who will remain nameless so he doesn’t get a bad rep back home, was wearing a t-shirt with a dead bear, lying on his back with his legs up (the picture of the bear, not the person wearing the shirt). Turns out the dead bear was a swipe at the UC Berkeley Bear, but the waitress said to him “I know about the whole bear thing (this is the same waitress who, when we all ordered water called for “4 lesbian cocktails’) but what does that mean. He explained and she said “I though it meant Lazy Bottom.” Needless to say, he didn’t deny that but I’m not sure he’s ready to change his LJ User name to that just quite yet, though in all our minds he’ll always be Lazy Bottom.

All in all, I enjoyed the company, enjoyed staying with everyone, and really liked the $120.00 cost for the whole week as opposed to $150.00+ a night at the hotel. Will I do it again? I don’t know. It’s nothing about the guy, it’s about me. Driving back I was actually thinking I needed a break from Coachella and SmokeOut and was thinking that would be the last time I went to either event. That’s what comes of too much time alone to think. Now that I’m back, who am I kidding…I can’t wait till next year.

And to you that I shared the house with, I say thanks, you guys are great, I enjoyed getting to know you better and I did enjoy myself.

Date:	2009-04-23 21:09
Subject:	COACHELLA 2009 - THE MUSIC
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Ann Margaret - Let Me Entertain You

Another Coachella over, this one perhaps the least enjoyable musically I’ve been to. Unlike previous years there was no one I discoverd for the first time that I can see becoming a favorite new find. The end of the festival was the high point for me with My Bloody Valentine (probably one of my top three moments at any Coachella) and Throbbing Gristle, and there were some outstanding acts: Leonard Cohen, TV on the Radio, Superchunk, Felix da Housecat, Booker T, Bob Mould (and getting to stand onstage and watch him was also a high point of the weekend), X, Fucked Up, Mastodon, Billy Talent.

Others were ok, I enjoyed them but expected more: Calexico, Paul Weller, Los Campesinos!, Drive-By Truckers (though they were great backing Booker T), Calexico, Paul Weller, Okkervil River, Sebastien Tellier, Devendra Banhart, Perry Farrell, Morrissey (he wasn’t half as good as when I saw him last year), Airborne Toxic Event, the Killers, Lupe Fiasco, Murder City Devils, the Cure.

Others disappointing or down right bad: Junior Boys, Public Enemy, Etienne De Crecy, Lykke Li, Buraka Som Sistema, Franz Ferdinand, M.I.A.

One in a category all by himself, a showman but to me just so-so and I saw him just to see a Beatle I haven’t seen before, Paul McCartney. The only other one I have seen was George Harrison and I really regret never having seen John Lennon. Ringo I may see playing an Indian Casino somewhere I expect.

Then there were those I had planned to see, but just didn’t get to. It always happens, conflicts, or I see someone who hooks me for their whole set so I don’t get over to see someone else I had planned to see: Beirut, Ghostland Observatory, the Presets, the Ting Tings, A Place to Bury Strangers, N.A.S.A.. (though I hear I was luck to have missed them), Fleet Foxes, The Bloody Beetroots, Turbonegro, Gang Gang Dance, Yeah Yeah Yeahs. One no-show I wanted to see was Glasvegas.

Was it worth it? Sure. Will I go again? Probably, though driving home I was thinking that this would probably be my last year to go but I'm sure that will change. Outside of MBV and Throbbing Gristle will it be a Coachella I’ll think of often? No.

Next post, the weekend itself.

If you don't have a college degree, don't say you do on your resume. When I tell you the school can confirm you went there but can't confirm a degree was awarded, don't send me a photoshopped diploma, a badly photoshopped bogus diploma, to prove you do have the degree...especially if you are claiming a BFA degree from an Art Institute. One last recommendation. If you do forge the diploma, spell the name of the school correctly.

I was sent a diploma this week by someone to prove he had the degree, but the nice fancy type at the top read "The Art Institue of xxx". Though it really wasn't necessary, I sent it to the registrar, and even she noted that their diplomas spell the name of the school The Art Institute of xxx and she said that after seeing this she understands why the person never was able to earn the degree from her school. Needless to say, he didn't get the job.

Date:	2009-04-07 20:05
Subject:	Smokeout in 4 sentences
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Cannibal Corpse - I Cum Blood

Back from Smokeout, saw some of the LJ attendees I recognized, missed a bunch of others. Smoked a lot of cigars, I kissed a boy and I liked it, didn't get to sleep until after 4:30 am 3 days in a row, lost $2.00 in the slot machines (so I quit), broke my penis and had to see the doctor today (but I'm not going to quit). Because of the last I probably have two people who think I'm a tease, and one person who knows I'm not. All in all I guess I had fun.

Date:	2009-03-30 21:01
Subject:	Which hat to keep the sun off me at Coachella?
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	Chris LeDoux - Under This Old Hat

I'm not a hat person, but each year I have to wear a hat at Coachella to keep off the sun. I've actually worn 3 of these the few years, but thinking none of these will do. Time to chapeau shop. Maybe I can find something in Vegas during SmokeOut.

Date:	2009-03-28 21:59
Subject:	I ain't no Luddite no more
Security:	Public
Mood:	jubilant
Music:	George Jones - High Tech Redneck

Getting ready for Coachella I finally got Twitter, and to check out my high school reunion I joined Facebook. Don't expect to see me on Facebook much, my mother-in-law and one of my employee have added me as friends. That's enough to keep me from putting content on there. While I'm out to everyone, I still like to keep my private life private. I do see future "I'm 20 feet from the right corner of the soundboard at Morrissey" tweets to be a lot easier than trying to get email out to multiple parties at Coachella. I also added Grindr on my iPhone, so now I can find a homosexual nearby whenever I need one.

Date:	2009-03-22 14:19
Subject:	I know that in the Bay Area every 4th guy I know has done it but...
Security:	Public
Mood:	loved
Music:	Talking Heads - Totally Nude

Highlight of the weekend was receiving a message from someone on SilverDaddies asking if I wanted to do daddy porn. I checked out their website and they really do make and market daddy porn. For all I know they sent the message to every daddy on Silver Daddies, but it made my day. Shane just laughed, that bitch, but I can't do it, I can't think of a porn name...at least that's my excuse...that and if Obama offers me an opening on the Supreme Court, I'd hate to have blown (so to speak) my chance.

For all the iPhone haters:

The Mentalists. No need to say more...but I obviously will. I'd be so at the front of the stage for them, even when they were playing other than their iPhones. I need to see more of them, Andy Gill has produced them, they've opened for Billy Bragg. That gives them some credibility as far as I'm concerend and I like what I've listened to on their website

If I had any talent on the iPhone I'd get some friends together and do the Ramones catalogue, maybe a Who cover or Hendrix and set fire to or smash the iPhone on the stage at the end. The possiblities are iEndless.

My Chemical Romance covered Bob Dylan's Desolation Row, one of my favorite Dylan songs, for the Watchmen soundtrack. There are some Dylan covers I really like....this is never going to be one of them.

We were just at the drug store, as we came to the register an older woman, who looked like she might be homeless, was counting her nickles and dimes to pay for a $1.99 can of fruit cocktail. Then we were next spending $30.00 on bottle of shampoo and a bottle of conditioner. Even if we had been there before she had handed her money to the cashier, I'm not sure how I could have paid for it without hurting her dignity. On the way home I thought of a good story that might have done that, but it was too late. I wasn't left with the feeling that I should count my blessings and be grateful for what I've got, I was left feeling a bit like... I don't know...spoiled, self-indulgent, wasteful, not good.

I'm left thinking of Lawrence Ferlinghetti's The World is a Beautiful Place

The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't mind some people dying
all the time
or maybe only starving
some of the time
which isn't half bad
if it isn't you

( The whole poem is behind this cut )